Zhou MuHui’s mom left at the beginning of this year, because of stomach cancer, she endured it for many years, Xin Yi didn’t know if this could be considered as freeing herself from it, because when they went to see her for the last time, she was very very thin, almost unable to speak.
Xin Yi squatted next to her to accompany her, she was holding Xin Yi’s hand without letting it go, and said with difficulty, “Xiao Yi, it’s been hard on you.”
At that time, Xin Yi didn’t understand what it meant, only shaking his head negatively in confusion, saying it wasn’t hard.
He thinks that Zhou MuHui’s mom was very nice, both gentle and good-looking, and also very nice to him, before, she always used to make tasty food for him, helping him to scold Zhou MuHui who always had a cold face, and also weaved winter sweater for him.
Read it on milkteatranslations.wrdpres.cm
“Xiao Yi… Do you like him?…”
It took her a lot of effort to speak, because the doctor said that it was something that would happen in these two days, so they didn’t leave during those few days, but at that time Zhou MuHui went outside, leaving only the two of them in the hospital room, Xin Yi looked at her with confusion, and said (he) likes.
Likes very very much.
Xin Yi was slumped on the hospital bed to speak with her, brushing her slightly messy hair, Xin Yi saw her smile, but her smile carried some sadness, but also seemed to carry some relief, he slowly blinked, and asked her what was wrong.
She strenuously shook her head, stretching a hand to caress Xin Yi’s hair.
“Good child…”
She softly said, “It is Xiao* Hui’s fortune.” (*little)
Xin Yi’s face turned red, being praised by an elder made him not even know where to put his hand, and he was a little embarrassed to speak the next sentence.
“In the future don’t… this… indulge this much on him..” She gently looked at Xin Yi, speaking intermittently, “Xin Yi, don’t be afraid.”
Xin Yi understood even less, he thought he wasn’t afraid of Zhou MuHui, but he didn’t dare to say it, he could only confusingly nod, saying he understands.
Aunty only smiled, and gently patted his hand, Xin Yi also smiled, although he didn’t understand what the other party was talking about.
After that, it was already late in the night, he was woken up in surprise by Zhou MuHui in the dark, the hospital room was a mess, Xin Yi’s ears were full of the sound of electric current, Xin Yi could hear the doctors loud shoutings, and could also hear his own heartbeats almost break through his chest, he stood at the same place at a loss, seeing the hand that was dangling next to the bed, skinny and bony, almost devoid of life.
He wanted to turn his head to look for Zhou MuHui, but he couldn’t shift his line of vision at all, until someone pulled him to the front, saying that his mother was looking for him.
Mother this form of address was very familiar, but also very foreign.
Because Xin Yi never called her this way, but the night before that she opened her mouth first, pulling Xin Yi’s hand and smiling, saying, “When we’ll see each other next time…call me mother…”
Xin Yi was so embarrassed that his whole face was red, Zhou MuHui was still at his side, he was happy but also embarrassed, only hesitantly agreeing, saying, “… Ok.”
“We… dragged, dragged you down…” Her voice was almost inaudible, Xin Yi was pressed very close to her, Xin Yi could feel her very weak breath, the life that was disappearing at a great speed, Xin Yi was scared silly, tears were running down uncontrollably, looking at her foolishly.
“Xiao, Xiao Hui didn’t say…”
“When he will… return…”
“Good…live a good life…”
“…”
“Don’t die…” Xin Yi could hear her words, and only widen his eyes at a loss, begging her mechanically, “Don’t die.”
Time flies very quickly, at seventeen years old, she was still Zhou MuHui’s mother, pulling Zhou MuHui’s hand and asking him why he came back so late, until twenty-two years old, she suddenly became his mother.
Loving him just like Xin Shao, doting on him.
Being concerned with him and Zhou MuHui for every single moment.
“It’s not even past New Year…” Xin Yi begged her, “Mom, it’s not even past New Year.”
Xin Yi was scared, looking at her sorrowfully.
A big hand landed on their intertwined hands, Xin Yi’s tears pattered on the top of them, Zhou MuHui lowered his body, his voice hoarse.
“Mom.”
Her voice turned quieter and quieter, as if it was in a virtual world, Xin Yi’s body kept shaking, watching her lips open and close, each time seeming to consume her life, but Xin Yi was helpless.
“I failed… failed you…” 1
Her eyes looking sad, she said to Zhou MuHui, “Mom failed… failed you…”
She’s been a burden to everyone in her whole life, especially to her child, couldn’t protect him when he was little, and after growing up he had to take responsibility for her own mistake, it is good that at least there was Xin Yi…
At the last moment, she struggled to hold their hands, her eyes started to become blurred, and her mind also seemed to be floating, she was thinking, it’s good, it’s good that at least there was Xin Yi.
Their Xin Yi ah…was just like a gift from the heavens.
Obviously so inaccessible, a sun that was so bright, but he landed in their family.
Driving away the gloom, just like the light, pulled Zhou MuHui who was about to fall into the abyss, it is only that he was too obedient… making her worried, afraid that Zhou MuHui would bully him.
“Don’t… don’t… bully him.”
She murmured, but it seemed that no one heard it, Xin Yi was crying, Zhou MuHui was holding her hand, his eyes were silent2, but slowly gave a nod.
Thus she let out a sigh of relief, and her consciousness dissipated.
“Mom!”
Xin Yi called her in a panic, she heard it, but couldn’t reply, death swallowed all the sounds, leaving only sins, she had to prolong it.3
But it was only natural, she had to redeem herself.
The last third of June was Zhou MuHui’s mother’s birthday, after finishing his exam Xin Yi went to see her along with Zhou MuHui.
Zhou MuHui spoke very little, only quietly placing things, sweeping away the dust on the tombstone. Xin Yi had a lot to say, talking about their life during these few months no matter how big or small, as if he wanted to make up on the behalf of Zhou MuHui who didn’t say anything.
The person on the tombstone was very young, their hair was still black, it was a picture that Xin Yi personally picked.
“Mom has to go all pretty and beautiful.”
Xin Yi pulled Zhou MuHui’s hand, and said it very seriously.
It was the first time Xin Yi experienced separation in life and death, he seemed to have lost his soul, and his tears were unstoppable, but when he saw Zhou Muhui on the second day, he didn’t dare to cry anymore.
Xin Yi’s brain turned rusty, he thought, what should he do.
In the future, Zhou MuHui will be a child without his mother, he dislikes speaking so much, his mother isn’t here anymore, where would he go when he’s sad.
If he’s wronged again, who will he complain to.
And all these childhood moments he missed, why doesn’t he have a little more.
Xin Yi hurriedly wiped his tears, when Zhou MuHui walked over, he tightly hugged him.
Zhou MuHui seemed to have lost quite a lot of weight overnight, Xin Yi’s heart was very sour, so sour that he wanted to cry, but he endured it, he didn’t want Zhou MuHui to have to worry about him.
Xin Yi endured his own sadness, accompanying Zhou MuHui to be busy around, keeping silent together with him, keeping vigil beside the coffin together with him with his head lowered.
Under the dim light, his side profile was as cold as usual, but Xin Yi saw sadness in the half-lowered eyes.
He moved closer like a quail, taking advantage of the half-bright half dim light to hug Zhou MuHui, just like he was hugging a helpless cub that was seeking warmth, using strength to paste himself against the other party.
“Don’t be afraid…” He held Zhou MuHui’s pallid hand, coaxing him clumsily, wanting to absorb all his sadness over.
“There’s still me.”
He whispered.
“Mom, we have to go.”
After Zhou MuHui stood up, he also climbed up, the flowers in front of the tombstone were still moist with dew, because they came very early, and even the sun had barely risen by then.
Zhou MuHui opened his mouth at this moment.
“I’ve… been angry with her before.”
Xin Yi was surprised, hurriedly looked at Zhou MuHui, and suddenly reacted in the next minute.
“Zhou MuHui…”
Xin Yi called him at a loss, hastily coaxing him, “Don’t think about it anymore, let’s hurry back home.”
He held Zhou MuHui wanting to go hurriedly, Zhou MuHui paused, and gently pulled him.
“It’s fine.”
Zhou MuHui said.
The sun was very strong in the early summer, but there were many trees embedded on the sides, under the trees’ shadow, Zhou MuHui caressed his hair, whispering his name, “Xiao Yi.”
Xin Yi anxiously hummed, staring at him, and whispered, “Zhou MuHui, don’t be sad.”
The opposite of Zhou MuHui’s mom was his father, but Zhou MuHui barely mentioned the other party.
Xin Yi knew the reason, he carefully hugged Zhou MuHui, standing on his tippy toes and acutely kissed the scar on his face, lowering his voice, “Don’t be sad.”
Zhou MuHui didn’t move, but he lowered his head when Xin Yi moved close, then quietly hugged him.
Xin Yi’s body was very hot, the skin under his thin t-shirt was pressed against him, Zhou MuHui’s breath was sprayed against his neck, closing his eyes deeply.
“She’s been liberated.”
Zhou MuHui said, “But… I still think about her.”
Notes:
- “我对不…起你…” is what she actually says, which is literally ‘I am sorry to you’/’I have to apologize to you’ but it sounded a little strand in English
- I have no idea what the author meant… I’ve looked for it on the internet and it seems that no one employs ‘keeping silent’ with ‘eyes’ in Chinese…
- Another sentence I didn’t get…
We’ve reached half of this novel! I am still very busy with work although I wished I could finish this novel quickly and move into my next project. (T_T) I saw so many nice danmei web novels.
P.S: I have received many emails for the past weeks if you have a question concerning the updates etc. You can just leave a comment on the project’s page or on the latest chapter, I will reply faster than if you email me. (I check my website at least twice a week but I don’t check my “translation” email as often)
Milktea
You can buy a coffee to support the website or buy me a coffee individually. Your support is greatly appreciated!
milkteatranslations.wordpress.com 