Special Fondness – Chapter 17

　　The troubles in the gambling den were deliberately caused by Qin MeiWan, Fang Su thought that Tang QiaoYuan would certainly return late, so when he left the Jade Courtyard, he slowed down his steps, in the end, he couldn’t walk anymore, and simply sat down at the other end of the garden in a daze. 

　　The garden was quiet, no one at sight, Fang Su was reminiscing of the trivial things that happened in the short span of this half-month and couldn’t help the smile on his lips. How is he not going to think about it in the future, Fang Su kept thinking in his mind every single gentle affectionate sentence that Tang QiaoYuan had said to him, remembering the look when he taught him to write, to read, and felt quite content. 

　　One should not insist (on having things) in life, people and things that originally shouldn’t be his were coveted by him for so long for no reason, it was already a blessing of Gods and Buddhas, if one was to be any greedier, it will be hard to avoid karmic retributions. 

　　Fang Su thought about the antidote hidden in his placket, if the so-called retribution he was afraid of came, he could undertake it alone, but it happened to have fallen on Tang QiaoYuan. 

　　From now on, what if he ends up alone, it is fine as long as Tang QiaoYuan can be safe and sound. Maybe one day, Tang QiaoYuan –without any love poison in his body anymore– can give his sincere heart to someone, what a happy event it would be…and that person, how lucky will they be. 

　　Fang Su’s thoughts were getting farther and farther, but he only had been sitting for a while, but he unexpectedly heard a familiar sound of hurried footsteps. He raised his head to look at where the sounds came from and saw the person who he was worried about rushed in a hurry, with frowned eyebrows that made his heartache, but he relaxed when he saw that he was safe and sound, immediately let out a relieved smile. 

　　Fang Su’s whole heart felt so warm that it hurt, stood up to wait, and Tang QiaoYuan took him in his embrace once he walked close enough, hugged him tightly for a while, and kissed him twice on the face. 

　　“A maidservant came to find me, and said that you went to see Qin MeiWan by yourself.” Tang QiaoYuan has never been afraid of anything, but at this moment his tone carried apprehension, he did not dare to ask hastily, asked softly, “Did she do something, hm?” 

　　Fang Su smiled and shook his head: “Nothing… After you left, I woke up and was bored alone, so I went to see her. Yesterday we bumped into her, it isn’t good if I really ignored her.” 

　　Tang QiaoYuan still had some lingering fears: “Then did she say something that made you unhappy?” 

　　“Nothing,” To not make him suspicious, Fang Su did not lie to him, responded with a half-true half-lie, “only said that she is in love with you.”

　　Tang QiaoYuan believed it, he originally did not plan to hide this matter to him, couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief: “Su Su does not need to take it to heart, this cousin of mine is domineering and rude, you don’t need to sympathetic, maybe if she is left out any time longer she will let go of this thought.”

 　　Fang Su did not refute, slightly smiled, and nodded at him, but his heart was full of helplessness and disappointment, only he knew that the feelings of some people are not easy to let go of. 

 　　Qin MeiWan is like this, but is he not the same? Only that their characters were worlds apart, and their behaviors were completely opposite. 

“QiaoYuan…”

Read the original translation at milkteatranslations.wordpress.com

“Hm?” Tang QiaoYuan answered, turned to take him back to the bedroom. 

　　Fang Su omitted the words spoken earlier, pretended as he knew nothing, and asked: “Where did you just go?” 

“Went to the North of the city,” Tang QiaoYuan tilted his head and answered, holding his hand, and rubbing it lightly, “someone was making trouble at the gambling den.” 

　　Fang Su watched him quietly, listened to him continue to speak: “This kind of thing often occurs, those who lost their bets, got drunk, their temperaments are quite big, but there are people who are watching the gambling den, I actually don’t need to go by myself. So, when I heard that you woke up, I turned around and came back.” 

　　Fang Su knew that he purposely said it light-hearted, thinking about how Qin MeiWan schemed to make him leave the mansion, but firmly believed that to be able to drag this person away, there was no way that the troubles caused were small. 

　　But even if it was like this, Tang QiaoYuan still turned around, no matter what the business is, nothing is more important than Fang Su who has been left alone in the mansion. 

Fang Su couldn’t help but be absent-minded, if these deep feelings were not born because of the “special fondness”, then they surely are the most precious thing in the world. 

　　No, even if his heart was misted with love poison, he still thought that it was the most valuable thing, he will always hide them in the bottom of his heart to remind of. 

　　“QiaoYuan, I have something I want to ask you,” Fang Su raised his eyes, slightly frowned, and said: “You can just casually listen to it, don’t need to take it too much to heart.” 

“Alright, ask.” Tang QiaoYuan took his hand and kissed it to soothe him, and waited patiently. 

　　Fang Su asked: “If you never knew me, and if you never met me, what kind of person would you fall in love with?” 

　　Tang QiaoYuan didn’t expect to hear this kind of question, slightly smiled, replied without hesitation: “Love someone with a temperament like yours, with an appearance like yours, named Fang Su, and the person is also Fang Su.” 

The smile on Fang Su’s face froze, his eyes rims almost turned red. 

　　He never gets tired of Tang QiaoYuan’s affectionate words, from the beginning, when he was a bit afraid of him, he couldn’t stop this kind of tender feeling, so he quickly indulged in it and couldn’t extricate himself anymore. 

　　If he could be a little more selfish, Fang Su wished he could keep maintaining this lie to keep this current situation, at the worst, he would just die along with Tang QiaoYuan, it would be better than to lose him. 

But Fang Su could not have this kind of resolve, but only imagining by

　　Tang QiaoYuan dying of poisoning made him feel cold all over his body, and only wanted to suffer in his stead.

　　The emotions that he tried to hide came out little by little, Tang QiaoYuan put down his smile, his eyebrows frowned again, almost convinced that Qin MeiWan caused Fang Su to let his imagination run wild, and felt suffocated in his heart, asked again: “How did Qin MeiWan bully you?”

　　Fang Su busily shook his head, pulled his sleeve, as if afraid that he will go to ask to make things clear, forced a smile and said: “She did not, how a young woman like she can bully me? I just…I just think that she is not good… QiaoYuan, she is not good, the future days are still long, no matter what happens, don’t be too close to her, you need to be careful…you…”

Fang Su stopped, not knowing what else to say. 

　　Tang QiaoYuan was at a loss, he lowered his hand to look at his eyes full of worries, unable to restrain a smile: “Is Su Su worried about me? A young woman like her cannot bully you, how can she be able to bully me?” He smiled and sighed, took Fang Su in his embrace, “Don’t know what ugly things she actually told you, anyway I will drive her out tomorrow, if she still pesters around, I will still find a way to make her leave, is it alright?” 

　　His body was warm as ever, Fang Su gradually calmed his heartbeats, returned his embrace, reluctant to part with, said nothing, and nodded. 

For the rest of the day, Fang Su said few words, sometimes absent-minded, difficult to force himself to be happy. 

　　Tang QiaoYuan couldn’t be more regretful, thinking that he really shouldn’t have left the mansion at noon, he thought that Fang Su was asleep at that time, and was reluctant to wake him up, how could he know that in that short period, that something that would leave him feeling down all day could happen. He did not have the heart to pursue the truth, only thinking about how to quickly coax Fang Su to be happy, drive Qin MeiWan out the next day, and everything will be fine. 

　　Tang QiaoYuan told him myths and legends, practiced calligraphy with him, hugged him in front of the desk to draw, painted some cute kittens and puppies. And Fang Su earnestly listened and watched, but was still unhappy. 

　　Until nighttime, Fang Su finally turned a bit more cheerful, brought a glass of water to Tang QiaoYuan who had been talking all day so he could moisten his mouth, then they turned off the light and went to bed, he hugged him to sleep as usual. 

　　Tang QiaoYuan’s fingers were playing with his slightly cool and smooth hair while still talking about interesting things to make him happy. But for some reason, tonight Tang QiaoYuan was more sleepy than usual, Fang Su knew the reason, but the person himself had no idea, his voice gradually faded.

　　Fang Su thought that from tomorrow on, he won’t be able to listen to these tender and warm words, his heart was aching as he stretched out a hand to stroke his eyebrows, whispering a “QiaoYuan”. 

Tang QiaoYuan was not completely asleep, vaguely answered him. 

　　“QiaoYuan…” Fang Su called him again, said softly, “Before, I never thought about how the future would be, but after meeting you, I did not dare to think about it… The whole time I could not figure out why you would be nice to me, now that I know, I cannot avoid it on purpose, I am about to lose everything but I suddenly feel peaceful… I don’t need to feel apprehensive, don’t need to worry about gain or loss…”

　　The person who was dreaming deeply frowned, not sure if he heard what he had just said, he groggily felt uneasy. 

　　Fang Su gently rubbed away the wrinkles between his brows, laughed, and said: “You won’t feel sad anymore when you wake up tomorrow, all the no-good, I will be the one to bear them… Even though the days I spent with you were not long, they can compensate for half of my life, I can’t reciprocate even a fraction of all the things you gave me, the only thing I can probably do is… no matter what, I will love you all my life. 

　　Fang Su was smiling but his voice was vaguely shaking, after relaxing for a while, he whispered a “husband”, then immediately chuckled a few times by himself. 

After that, he could not speak anymore, his heart was sorrowful and sad, it was indescribable. 

　　At an unknown hour into the night, after Tang QiaoYuan completely fell asleep, the person who was awake this whole time finally stood up, dressed up, and brushed his hair, bringing with him a wooden hairpin in a vanity mirror box, took advantage of the night to quietly leave the mansion. 

　　The cold wind was blowing, it seemed like it was about to rain. 

　　The side door of the YingJuang private school at the East of LinZhou city was knocked in the middle of the night, the teacher put on his robe to greet them. 

　　The person outside apologized and asked: “Apologizes for inflicting myself late at night… don’t know if the teacher can give me shelter for a few days until I get enough money for my journey, and leave LinZhou?”

　　Teacher Wang’s face showed some surprise. 

　　Heavy rain fell through the summer night, swooshing and smashing.

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Notes:

I don’t know if you guys noticed but I edited the numbers of chapters: 26 chapters + 1 extra became 26 chapters + 5 extras! When I started translating this novel, it was already finished but I didn’t know there were going to be additional extras, I don’t have time to read them yet, I will probably read them as I translate them.

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Milktea

Your support would be greatly appreciated!

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