Special Fondness – Chapter 18

　　Early in the morning, light footsteps could be heard in the corridor of the mansion.

　　Bai Ping had picked up her skirt and was trotting all the way, a while ago a maid from the main courtyard came to deliver some words, saying that the master was looking for her for an urgent matter, and she right off had a bad foreboding.

　　From Bai Ping’s perspective, Tang QiaoYuan hardly ever uses the word “urgent”, hence she immediately put down what she was doing, ran over, slightly out of breath.

　　However, it turned out that the person who gave out the order was not that impatient, Tang QiaoYuan was confused when he woke up this morning, his mind seemed to be empty yet it also felt like there was a clutter of images, it made him bewildered and confused, so after he inadvertently said the word “urgent” he was also inexplicably surprised.

　　Bai Ping ran over to the main courtyard, she seldom entered the bedchamber without asking for authorization first, she opened the bead curtains and stopped her steps. The breathing of this girl was uneven, she paused after raising her eyes, seeing that Tang QiaoYuan did not raise his head to look at her but sat silently at the table, his head lowered, looking at the object in his hand, absent-minded.

　　“Master.”  Bai Ping slowly walked over, put her hands at her waist to greet him.

　　Tang QiaoYuan returned to his senses after he heard her, turned his head to look at her, not able to tell if it was a question or a statement, he slowly opened his mouth to speak: “I am already married.”

　　Bai Ping was stunned, at this moment, she finally saw the empty bed, a thought vaguely floated through her mind, a bit astonished and a bit bewildered.

　　Tang QiaoYuan turned over the object in his hand, looked at the slightly rough embroidered character on it, and tentatively read it aloud: “ ‘Su’…… Fang Su?”

　　Bai Ping did not answer, she couldn’t make any heads and tails, at this time, besides feeling surprised and puzzled, the only thing left was nervousness, it was hard for her to encounter something that she completely couldn’t understand, it had a taste of something that she could not take.

Tang QiaoYuan’s frown gradually relaxed.

　　After that person woke up this morning, it was like he had a very long dream, fragments of this dream were in his mind, however, they were vaguely separated by a thin layer veil as if he was watching others perform.

　　In fact, Tang QiaoYuan did not forget the many details in this half-month, only that now, he felt that it was unreal, his chest was heavy and stuffy, not knowing what these feelings were.

　　Tang QiaoYuan was silent for a while, then looked at Bai Ping, suddenly asked: “I really like (him)?” and saw that Bai Ping was silent, then felt himself acting odd, shook his head and continue, “Qin MeiWan gave me love poison, due to a strange combination of circumstances, it became what it is now.”

　　Bai Ping suddenly realized, widened her eyes, countless thoughts popped in her mind, and thought about that woman who did know what was good for herself, dared to be absurd to this point, it made her gnash her teeth in anger. And at last, a slightly disappointing thought came up: could it be that she took a stake in Fang Su, she was thinking really too simply…

　　“Then Master’s meaning, how should the lady cousin be dealt with?”

　　“We will talk about it later,” Tang QiaoYuan shook his head, “I can’t completely fail to take into consideration Uncle’s side.”

　　Now that elders were mentioned, Bai Ping naturally could not refute and could only ask again: “Then Madam…” her sentence was half-spoken, waiting for that person to think for himself. 

　　“Madam…” Tang QiaoYuan whispered it a few times, unsure of what he was thinking about, shook his head and slightly smiled, then tied the purse in his hand at his waist, responded, “since it is madam, then we need to pick them up, the ceremonial bowing and the wedding is real after all.”

　　Bai Ping’s eyebrows slightly moved, made a respectful bow, said: “This maidservant will send people to search inside and outside of the city.”

　　“No need,” this person thought about it, although his memory was like floating and seemed unreal but he could easily remember, he gave out an order, “Prepare the car to go to the East of the city, also, don’t allow Qin MeiWan to leave the Jade courtyard, wait until I have time…before thinking how to deal with her.”

　　“Yes,” Bai Ping’s eyes revealed a smile, without canceling her personal resentment, she readily replied, “This maidservant will make sure to have people encircle the courtyard.”

　　Tang QiaoYuan is someone who is used to protecting his shortcomings, he just smiled, pretending not to be aware of her selfish motives. He let it pass and stood up, on the way, he also squeezed the purse on his waist, although his mind was in shambles and confused, but he inexplicably felt comfortable for no reason.

　　After heavy rain fell yesterday night, the season completely changed, after the rain, the sun shined brightly, the weather got hotter.

　　Children were making noises in YingJuan private school, it happened to be at rest time, teacher Wang was carrying the scrolls and slowly pacing in the courtyard, a moment later, he saw a familiar carriage parked outside the school.

　　Teacher Wang stopped his steps, narrowed his eyes, and looked over, waiting for the guest to lift the curtain and get out of the car.

　　Tang QiaoYuan curved his lips into a shallow smile, after entering the courtyard, he walked toward him, did not even ask if Fang Su was there, remembered to give a late greeting, and bluntly said: “Sorry to disturb teacher, this one is here to take my wife back to the mansion.”

　　Teacher Wang who got a greet yesterday, got another greeting today¹, hearing this, he stroked his beard and pondered for a moment, sighed helplessly, the scrolls in his hand pointed toward the direction of a side of the courtyard, he shook his head and smiled: “It is not easy to find someone you get along with.”

　　“Teacher is right.” Tang QiaoYuan did not explain, he added a “many thanks”, and walked toward the side of the courtyard.

　　Without the need to walk too near, he could already faintly hear voices that came from inside. It seemed to be an old woman, patiently advising about something, Fang Su would occasionally answer in a low voice, or give simple answers.

　　“Things that are to be sold-ah, cannot be compared to things that are used at home, how can it be resistant only, it also needs to be sophisticated and pretty… Your needlework is not good enough, let me teach you.” As the old woman was speaking, she took over the needlework in Fang Su’s hand, after a while, felt distressed and exclaimed, “But also, it is a bit of an effort for a boy to do these things… The traveling expenses you need, the old man could give it to you, you previously donated quite a lot to the school, but you did not want it…”

　　Fang Su looked down at her hand movements, he did not complain about her being long-winded because of her old age, shook his head, and said: “Shi Niang², those were not the money that I donated to the private school.”

　　After hearing this, the footsteps of the person who was about to walk closer paused slightly, then continued forward while hearing the old woman say, “very stubborn” and appeared in front of both of them.

　　Fang Su felt that there was someone, couldn’t help but turn his head to take a look, his expression froze when his eyes landed on them.

　　He did not sleep for a night and was originally slightly dazed, a part of him couldn’t believe it, doubting whether the person in front of him was real. Fang Su wanted to call out his name, but when he was about to speak, he didn’t know how he should address him.

　　But in this instant, he also thought about a lot of things. He thought about why Tang QiaoYuan still remembered him, why did he come to find him, did he hate him to the core, did he come in person to drive him out of LinZhou city…

—— If not, could it be that … the medicine Qin MeiWan gave him was fake?

Read the original translation at milkteatranslations.wordpress.com

　　His thoughts were particularly messy, his gaze inattentive, he didn’t even have the time to think it through that this person walked in front of him, looked at him, and stretched out his hand.

　　This action couldn’t be more familiar, it was like when he was about to get off the sedan back then, the warm hand palm he saw underneath the red wedding veil.

　　Fang Su was stunned, his instinct wanted to respond, his hand reached out and stopped mid-way before he hurriedly wanted to retract it.

　　Tang QiaoYuan could see it, he stepped closer and took the initiative to hold that hand, got him to stand up then nodded in greetings to the old woman aside.

　　The old woman stopped what she was doing, she also saw that person once before, therefore she wasn’t puzzled, she happily smiled and sent them away. She didn’t know the truth, but her words were particularly warm, thinking that both of them had a conflict and was afraid that Fang Su would still be angry, her mouth full of words of consolation.

　　Tang QiaoYuan only replied with “yes”, holding Fang Su’s hand in his own, surprisingly found this sensation very familiar, silky and soft, very satisfying.

　　Fang Su bewilderedly followed him, forgetting the worries that ran through his mind.

　　In the front yard, Bai Ping was still waiting and when she saw them, her eyes curved into a smile, she turned sideways toward teacher Wang, smiled and made a respectful bow: “Our madam and master had a small quarrel, many thanks to teacher for looking after him…”

Teacher Wang simply smiled and bowed.

　　The horse carriage drove from the East of the city and returned to the mansion, Fang Su sat cramped in the carriage, next to him was the person he was the most concerned for but also a miss Bai Ping, making it hard for him to speak up.

　　The person sitting opposite to him seemed to have changed, not as affectionate as before, but still looked at him with a gentle smile, additionally, his gaze showed some doubt and interest compared to back then.

　　Tang QiaoYuan could see that Fang Su had something to say but yet, he did not ask, looking at him feeling tormented, he secretly found the sight lovable.

　　He waited until they finally returned to the main courtyard of the Tang mansion, and both were alone when Fang Su asked with his heart pounding: “You…have healed?”

　　Tang QiaoYuan paused when he heard it, then lowly chuckled, suddenly feeling that it was quite good like this, this time the cause and effect were absurd, but the wife he married by mistake was really cute.

　　While thinking like this, he nodded and answered: “Already healed.”

　　While speaking, he also walked toward the desk. Fang Su was a few feet away, kept hesitating and not getting closer, he stood at the same place and followed him with his eyes.

　　Tang QiaoYuan pretended to turn a blind eye, he stroked the drawing on the table, the ink was already dry, on the paper were painted well-behaved animals, something he dislike painting before, he raised his eyebrows, raised his eyes to look at Fang Su, then dropped them on the little things on the paper, and thought that they were really quite a few of similarities. (between the drawings and Fang Su)

　　Tang QiaoYuan silently curved his lips, thinking about the intimacy yesterday when he hugged Fang Su to draw, his heart was subtle and itchy, after a while, with a smile in his voice, spoke without warning: “ ‘The tree demon had a secret affection for the scholar, blessed him so he couldn’t get hurt by others demons, but because of this, they had to leave him’… did I stop there yesterday?”

　　The room was silent for a while, Tang QiaoYuan patiently waited, after what seemed to be a long time, he finally heard that voice hesitantly replied: “Then…what happened after?”

　　He couldn’t help but drop his eyebrows, eyes staring at him, said: “in order for the scholar to live, the demon resolutely left, to ensure the scholar’s safety, he did not mind suffering. After that, the scholar forgot everything and had a happy life, however, the tree demon roots withered, and his leaves fell off, not a lease of life.”

“Isn’t that very tragic…” Fang Su couldn’t bear to listen to it.

Tang QiaoYuan nodded with a small smile.

　　“It is, a tree planted by oneself ended up desolate, did it harm others or harm itself? The ending obviously didn’t need to be like this, that scholar is not an ordinary person, is it even difficult for him to protect a single tree?”

　　Fang Su was dumbfounded, in hindsight, he finally realized that this person exaggerated the ending, meaning to imply something…

　　He hadn’t replied yet, Tang QiaoYuan walk from behind the desk to him and stretched out his hand, caressed his face with the back of his hand, just like the day of their wedding, said: “As Tang QiaoYuan’s wife, you should just stay by my side for me to protect, you don’t need to feel unhappy in your heart, since you have trusted me one, how about trusting me once again?”

　　After it was spoken out loud, Fang Su’s eyes rims slightly turned red, each word and sentence sinking in his ears.

　　“Even if it wasn’t love at first sight, why can it not be love developed over time…… Fang Su, stay by my side.” 

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Notes:

1. The original sentence goes like “汪先生昨夜才受一礼，今日又受一礼” and I wasn’t too sure how I should translate it as “礼” has diffent meaning in Chinese. It could be a ‘respectful greeting/salute’ but it can also be a ‘gift’, but I’m pretty sure they are not talking about any gift here.
2.  师娘 (shī niáng): Wife of one’s teacher or master.

I can’t believe that… my translations are copied to another website. I only realized when I saw some of the views were coming from that website, I am trying to disable copy/paste and right click but I can’t make the CSS function correctly and I am honestly just … pissed off. I don’t have a team, I am working alone on this project, it takes me dozen hours of work, checking spelling mistakes etc. for one single chapter, I’m not doing that so someone or a bot can copy my work and post that somewhere else.

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Milktea

Your support is greatly appreciated!

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TOC

Special Fondness – Chapter 17

　　The troubles in the gambling den were deliberately caused by Qin MeiWan, Fang Su thought that Tang QiaoYuan would certainly return late, so when he left the Jade Courtyard, he slowed down his steps, in the end, he couldn’t walk anymore, and simply sat down at the other end of the garden in a daze. 

　　The garden was quiet, no one at sight, Fang Su was reminiscing of the trivial things that happened in the short span of this half-month and couldn’t help the smile on his lips. How is he not going to think about it in the future, Fang Su kept thinking in his mind every single gentle affectionate sentence that Tang QiaoYuan had said to him, remembering the look when he taught him to write, to read, and felt quite content. 

　　One should not insist (on having things) in life, people and things that originally shouldn’t be his were coveted by him for so long for no reason, it was already a blessing of Gods and Buddhas, if one was to be any greedier, it will be hard to avoid karmic retributions. 

　　Fang Su thought about the antidote hidden in his placket, if the so-called retribution he was afraid of came, he could undertake it alone, but it happened to have fallen on Tang QiaoYuan. 

　　From now on, what if he ends up alone, it is fine as long as Tang QiaoYuan can be safe and sound. Maybe one day, Tang QiaoYuan –without any love poison in his body anymore– can give his sincere heart to someone, what a happy event it would be…and that person, how lucky will they be. 

　　Fang Su’s thoughts were getting farther and farther, but he only had been sitting for a while, but he unexpectedly heard a familiar sound of hurried footsteps. He raised his head to look at where the sounds came from and saw the person who he was worried about rushed in a hurry, with frowned eyebrows that made his heartache, but he relaxed when he saw that he was safe and sound, immediately let out a relieved smile. 

　　Fang Su’s whole heart felt so warm that it hurt, stood up to wait, and Tang QiaoYuan took him in his embrace once he walked close enough, hugged him tightly for a while, and kissed him twice on the face. 

　　“A maidservant came to find me, and said that you went to see Qin MeiWan by yourself.” Tang QiaoYuan has never been afraid of anything, but at this moment his tone carried apprehension, he did not dare to ask hastily, asked softly, “Did she do something, hm?” 

　　Fang Su smiled and shook his head: “Nothing… After you left, I woke up and was bored alone, so I went to see her. Yesterday we bumped into her, it isn’t good if I really ignored her.” 

　　Tang QiaoYuan still had some lingering fears: “Then did she say something that made you unhappy?” 

　　“Nothing,” To not make him suspicious, Fang Su did not lie to him, responded with a half-true half-lie, “only said that she is in love with you.”

　　Tang QiaoYuan believed it, he originally did not plan to hide this matter to him, couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief: “Su Su does not need to take it to heart, this cousin of mine is domineering and rude, you don’t need to sympathetic, maybe if she is left out any time longer she will let go of this thought.”

 　　Fang Su did not refute, slightly smiled, and nodded at him, but his heart was full of helplessness and disappointment, only he knew that the feelings of some people are not easy to let go of. 

 　　Qin MeiWan is like this, but is he not the same? Only that their characters were worlds apart, and their behaviors were completely opposite. 

“QiaoYuan…”

Read the original translation at milkteatranslations.wordpress.com

“Hm?” Tang QiaoYuan answered, turned to take him back to the bedroom. 

　　Fang Su omitted the words spoken earlier, pretended as he knew nothing, and asked: “Where did you just go?” 

“Went to the North of the city,” Tang QiaoYuan tilted his head and answered, holding his hand, and rubbing it lightly, “someone was making trouble at the gambling den.” 

　　Fang Su watched him quietly, listened to him continue to speak: “This kind of thing often occurs, those who lost their bets, got drunk, their temperaments are quite big, but there are people who are watching the gambling den, I actually don’t need to go by myself. So, when I heard that you woke up, I turned around and came back.” 

　　Fang Su knew that he purposely said it light-hearted, thinking about how Qin MeiWan schemed to make him leave the mansion, but firmly believed that to be able to drag this person away, there was no way that the troubles caused were small. 

　　But even if it was like this, Tang QiaoYuan still turned around, no matter what the business is, nothing is more important than Fang Su who has been left alone in the mansion. 

Fang Su couldn’t help but be absent-minded, if these deep feelings were not born because of the “special fondness”, then they surely are the most precious thing in the world. 

　　No, even if his heart was misted with love poison, he still thought that it was the most valuable thing, he will always hide them in the bottom of his heart to remind of. 

　　“QiaoYuan, I have something I want to ask you,” Fang Su raised his eyes, slightly frowned, and said: “You can just casually listen to it, don’t need to take it too much to heart.” 

“Alright, ask.” Tang QiaoYuan took his hand and kissed it to soothe him, and waited patiently. 

　　Fang Su asked: “If you never knew me, and if you never met me, what kind of person would you fall in love with?” 

　　Tang QiaoYuan didn’t expect to hear this kind of question, slightly smiled, replied without hesitation: “Love someone with a temperament like yours, with an appearance like yours, named Fang Su, and the person is also Fang Su.” 

The smile on Fang Su’s face froze, his eyes rims almost turned red. 

　　He never gets tired of Tang QiaoYuan’s affectionate words, from the beginning, when he was a bit afraid of him, he couldn’t stop this kind of tender feeling, so he quickly indulged in it and couldn’t extricate himself anymore. 

　　If he could be a little more selfish, Fang Su wished he could keep maintaining this lie to keep this current situation, at the worst, he would just die along with Tang QiaoYuan, it would be better than to lose him. 

But Fang Su could not have this kind of resolve, but only imagining by

　　Tang QiaoYuan dying of poisoning made him feel cold all over his body, and only wanted to suffer in his stead.

　　The emotions that he tried to hide came out little by little, Tang QiaoYuan put down his smile, his eyebrows frowned again, almost convinced that Qin MeiWan caused Fang Su to let his imagination run wild, and felt suffocated in his heart, asked again: “How did Qin MeiWan bully you?”

　　Fang Su busily shook his head, pulled his sleeve, as if afraid that he will go to ask to make things clear, forced a smile and said: “She did not, how a young woman like she can bully me? I just…I just think that she is not good… QiaoYuan, she is not good, the future days are still long, no matter what happens, don’t be too close to her, you need to be careful…you…”

Fang Su stopped, not knowing what else to say. 

　　Tang QiaoYuan was at a loss, he lowered his hand to look at his eyes full of worries, unable to restrain a smile: “Is Su Su worried about me? A young woman like her cannot bully you, how can she be able to bully me?” He smiled and sighed, took Fang Su in his embrace, “Don’t know what ugly things she actually told you, anyway I will drive her out tomorrow, if she still pesters around, I will still find a way to make her leave, is it alright?” 

　　His body was warm as ever, Fang Su gradually calmed his heartbeats, returned his embrace, reluctant to part with, said nothing, and nodded. 

For the rest of the day, Fang Su said few words, sometimes absent-minded, difficult to force himself to be happy. 

　　Tang QiaoYuan couldn’t be more regretful, thinking that he really shouldn’t have left the mansion at noon, he thought that Fang Su was asleep at that time, and was reluctant to wake him up, how could he know that in that short period, that something that would leave him feeling down all day could happen. He did not have the heart to pursue the truth, only thinking about how to quickly coax Fang Su to be happy, drive Qin MeiWan out the next day, and everything will be fine. 

　　Tang QiaoYuan told him myths and legends, practiced calligraphy with him, hugged him in front of the desk to draw, painted some cute kittens and puppies. And Fang Su earnestly listened and watched, but was still unhappy. 

　　Until nighttime, Fang Su finally turned a bit more cheerful, brought a glass of water to Tang QiaoYuan who had been talking all day so he could moisten his mouth, then they turned off the light and went to bed, he hugged him to sleep as usual. 

　　Tang QiaoYuan’s fingers were playing with his slightly cool and smooth hair while still talking about interesting things to make him happy. But for some reason, tonight Tang QiaoYuan was more sleepy than usual, Fang Su knew the reason, but the person himself had no idea, his voice gradually faded.

　　Fang Su thought that from tomorrow on, he won’t be able to listen to these tender and warm words, his heart was aching as he stretched out a hand to stroke his eyebrows, whispering a “QiaoYuan”. 

Tang QiaoYuan was not completely asleep, vaguely answered him. 

　　“QiaoYuan…” Fang Su called him again, said softly, “Before, I never thought about how the future would be, but after meeting you, I did not dare to think about it… The whole time I could not figure out why you would be nice to me, now that I know, I cannot avoid it on purpose, I am about to lose everything but I suddenly feel peaceful… I don’t need to feel apprehensive, don’t need to worry about gain or loss…”

　　The person who was dreaming deeply frowned, not sure if he heard what he had just said, he groggily felt uneasy. 

　　Fang Su gently rubbed away the wrinkles between his brows, laughed, and said: “You won’t feel sad anymore when you wake up tomorrow, all the no-good, I will be the one to bear them… Even though the days I spent with you were not long, they can compensate for half of my life, I can’t reciprocate even a fraction of all the things you gave me, the only thing I can probably do is… no matter what, I will love you all my life. 

　　Fang Su was smiling but his voice was vaguely shaking, after relaxing for a while, he whispered a “husband”, then immediately chuckled a few times by himself. 

After that, he could not speak anymore, his heart was sorrowful and sad, it was indescribable. 

　　At an unknown hour into the night, after Tang QiaoYuan completely fell asleep, the person who was awake this whole time finally stood up, dressed up, and brushed his hair, bringing with him a wooden hairpin in a vanity mirror box, took advantage of the night to quietly leave the mansion. 

　　The cold wind was blowing, it seemed like it was about to rain. 

　　The side door of the YingJuang private school at the East of LinZhou city was knocked in the middle of the night, the teacher put on his robe to greet them. 

　　The person outside apologized and asked: “Apologizes for inflicting myself late at night… don’t know if the teacher can give me shelter for a few days until I get enough money for my journey, and leave LinZhou?”

　　Teacher Wang’s face showed some surprise. 

　　Heavy rain fell through the summer night, swooshing and smashing.

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Notes:

I don’t know if you guys noticed but I edited the numbers of chapters: 26 chapters + 1 extra became 26 chapters + 5 extras! When I started translating this novel, it was already finished but I didn’t know there were going to be additional extras, I don’t have time to read them yet, I will probably read them as I translate them.

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Milktea

Your support would be greatly appreciated!

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TOC

Special Fondness – Chapter 16

　　“What’s wrong?”

　　The person behind the folding screen walked out.

　　Tang QiaoYuan walked to the table and saw Fang Su holding the porcelain spoon in a daze, he bent over and hugged him from behind, took a look at the bowl of Tremella soup: “Today’s soup is not good?”

Fang Su returned to his sense, shook his head.

　　Tang QiaoYuan curled his lips into a small smile, held his hand to scoop up half a spoon, and fed it to himself, tasting and as if asking and answering himself: “En, the taste is quite good.”

　　Fang Su couldn’t help but laugh, then suppressed the restless heartbeat in his chest, the unformed thoughts in his mind were only guesses, he didn’t want to tell Tang QiaoYuan for the time being, covering it up secretly.

　　Tang QiaoYuan didn’t know what to do, but seeing him happy, he eased his heart and sat down beside, and accompanied him to finish breakfast.

　　He seemed to be in a good mood, however, the slip of paper in his placket seemed sharp and heavy, continuously emitting heat and scalding, burning Fang Su as if he was tormented. For the other half of the day, he seemed to be absent-minded, silently guessing who wrote that note.

　　In reality, this question isn’t hard, the Tang Mansion was calm and peaceful before, although the days that Fang Su spent here were short, the days passed smoothly without any disturbance. But now that someone has come to the mansion, one glance from far-off, and in a blink of an eye he received these two heavy words, the writing is light and beautiful and does not make it hard to guess who was the one who has written them.

　　Fang Su knew who he should find, but the person next to him accompanied him all day long, which doesn’t leave him any occasion to leave the main courtyard by himself, helpless, he could only wait quietly.

　　But coincidences happen, about a quarter before one in the afternoon, someone made a scene and smashed the place of a gambling den in the North of LinZhou city.

　　Fang Su was laying on the couch and taking an afternoon nap, listening to Bai Pin who deliberately lowered her voice in the corridor, and had yet opened his eyes.

　　He could not hear everything clearly, he only knew that after a while Tang QiaoYuan returned to the room, covered him with a thin blanket then left in a hurry, then everything was silent.

　　Fang Su slowly pinched onto the warm blanket, turned to get up from the couch, walked outside alone.

　　The Jade courtyard of the Tang Mansion was located on the other side of the garden, separated from the main courtyard, the courtyard was calm, the group of servants seemed to have been taken away on purpose. Fang Su stepped inside and did not even see the shadow of a human. He was thinking that little lady was probably waiting, so he stopped caring about manners, and went straight for the bedroom in the courtyard.

　　The girl in the bedroom was sitting in the outer room, holding a mirror in her hand, and carefully tracing her eyebrows, hearing the footsteps and she let out a sweet smile, she stopped her hand and lifted her head to look at the threshold.

Fang Su stepped inside, met her eyes, and nodded to greet her.

　　Qin MeiWan curved the corners of her lips, did not treat him with courtesy, only caring for that pair of beautiful brows of her, said briskly: “I thought that you would not know to come to find me at this time, you are not as stupid as I thought.”

　　The sarcasm in her voice was obvious but Fang Su did not care about it, bluntly said: “I don’t know where Tang QiaoYuan will return, how about lady cousin finish early what she has to say.”

　　Qin MeiWan took a glance at him, jealousy and hatred flashed in her eyes: “ ‘QiaoYuan’… … You sure call him intimately. But you cannot guess why he had to leave the mansion? If I have the means to make him leave then I also have my own way to delay him.”

　　Fang Su was stunned and suddenly understood, there is not such a coincidence, only that the girl before him did it intentionally, so he did not urge her anymore, only waited for her to continue speaking.

　　Qin MeiWan was not in a hurry to deal with him, after she finished painting her makeup, she put down what was in her hand, and then walked closer to hold his wrist and brought him to the chair. Fang Su was uncomfortable being stared down by her, it took a while before she start to talk about old things.

　　“Cousin and I know each other since we were little, you can say that we are childhood sweethearts. Since I turned sensible enough, I fell in love with him, the only one I have acknowledged in ten or so years, I will not marry anyone but him.” As Qin MeiWan said this, her long nails gently stroked Fang Su’s face, she chuckled, “I know cousin doesn’t have me in his heart but I still do not want to let go. There are hundreds of millions of tricks in the world, I will always have my way to move his heart… But where did you pop up from? You are nowhere better than me, yet you dared to get ahead of me.”

　　Fang Su breathed the closeness of powder’s scent, frowned uncomfortably, and avoided her hand.

　　“Obviously a boy, yet married someone else as a wife, do you find the taste unpleasant or not?”

　　After hearing this sentence, Fang Su did not stay silent anymore, he shook his heart and said plainly: “Why unpleasant? Man or woman, isn’t it just to have someone to accompany you till death… QiaoYuan is very considerate toward me.” After saying this, he took out the slip of paper he hid for half a day, not wanting to be entangled anymore, “This should be written by lady cousin, don’t know what the two words “love poison” should mean?”

　　Qin MeiWan raised her brows, took the note, and crumpled it in her palm. The smile on her face deepened, she leisurely asked back with some ridicule: “Tang QiaoYuan, this person doesn’t find anyone pleasing to the eye, did you ever think about why he likes you?”

　　Fang Su did not speak, raised his head, and looked straight into that pair of beautiful eyes.

Read the original translation at milkteatranslations.wordpress.com

　　“To have a special fondness…. the drug “special fondness”¹, even love can be born from no love. How can there be things such as deep affection, from the beginning to the end, he had been nothing but poisoned… Even if it was not you, even if it was someone else at that time that had appeared in front of him, he would still have married them, and would also think that he had truly fallen in love…”

　　As if a muffled thunder has struck him, Fang Su felt extremely cold in his heart, although he did not want to believe it, he couldn’t help but admit it, the bad suspicions he harbored in his mind turned out to be true.

　　All of sudden, Fang Su remembered the question he asked Tang QiaoYuan.

Why do you like me?

“Yeah, I wonder why…”

　　Tang QiaoYuan never knew the reason, Fang Su was also puzzled when he asked, now everything became clear…

　　It was only because of the love poison.

　　Drugged with love poison, it wasn’t of his own free will, what love, what lovesickness, none of it was existent.

　　The poison “special fondness” was rare, back then, it took Qin MeiWan a long time before she got it into her hands, moreover, this kind of poison that charm people is bound to be harmful, if the person who has been poisoned does not take the cure regularly, within a year, their body will be exhausted and die.

　　Although Qin MeiWan was obsessed with Tang QiaoYuan, she only received cold treatment over the years, it was inevitable that she has some hatred in her heart, making her affection complicated. If not forced by her heavy obsession, how could she bear to harm him with this kind of violent poison.

　　Tang QiaoYuan got poisoned not long ago, at that time, Qin MeiWan watched him swallow the drug with her own eyes, with love and with hatred in her heart, she supported herself on the table and broke down in laughter as if she was crazy, she repeated over and over: “This time, you should finally fall for me…”

　　She almost cried as she laughed, Tang QiaoYuan had his doubts, he was furious after he learned the truth, immediately pushed her away and left the mansion, he rode a horse out of the city to the inhabited forest.

　　Tang QiaoYuan did not want to fall for someone for no reason, he originally wanted to get over the drug alone in the empty forest, but he had forgotten, “special fondness” is not an aphrodisiac, but a violent love poison, it will not disappear over the time, on the contrary, it will force people to have internal disturbance due to the delay in relieving the emotions in the heart.

　　Tang QiaoYuan sat back under a tree, his eyes faintly glowing scarlet, right at this moment he heard someone’s voice nearby. He turned his head, feeling foggy, and through the layers of vegetation, he saw Fang Su who came to worship his deceased mother.

　　Tang QiaoYuan silently looked at him, after a while, curved his lips into a smile, and gradually fell unconscious.

　　After he woke up, Tang QiaoYuan had already forgotten everything.

　　After the poison took effect, he did not remember its cause and effect, he only knew that there was someone’s face that lingered in his heart. Tang QiaoYuan walked to the tomb and wrote down the name of the owner of the tomb, and once he returned to the mansion, he asked people to investigate Fang Su’s background.

To this day, he spends his day and night with Fang Su.

　　At that time, Qin MeiWan had no idea about this, although she was confused about how Tang QiaoYuan came back safe and sound, she didn’t have the time to guess the reason, two days after father Qin had sent a letter, and she unwillingly had to temporarily return to Liu City.

　　The truth turned out to be this absurd.

　　Fang Su quietly listened to her finish talking, turbulent waves were hidden in the bottom of his eyes, his face was as calm as the beginning, as it was neither sad nor happy, he raised his head and asked: “What about the antidote?”

　　Qin MeiWan was stunned, her expression momentarily turned hideous, raised her voice, and angrily said: “Shouldn’t you beg me? You should beg me to help you hide this matter, act as if you know nothing, and continue to be your owner’s wife!”

　　Fang Su watched her acting crazy, bowed, and said: “If there is no antidote, don’t know how long QiaoYuan can still live.”

　　”Haha…” Qin MeiWan couldn’t restrain her laugh, “You pretend to be this considerate and kind, but he won’t be grateful! Once he remembers the reason, he will dislike you or even come to hate you… If you want the antidote then you will have to leave the Tang Mansion!”

　　She said sentence after sentence, not ready to shut up, her words threatening and full of meaning to drive him out of the mansion. It is only leaving, Fang Su agreed to all of it, patiently waited until she said enough, then stretched out his hand without saying anything.

　　After a while, Qin MeiWan finally gradually calmed down, the expression of her eyebrows showing some weariness then took out a paper bag from her sleeve.

　　Fang Su received it in his hand and squeezed it tightly, finally letting out a helpless smile, thinking that he was having this beautiful dream for such a long time, it was finally time to wake up…

　　Fortunately, this dream was perfect, meeting was not pointless.

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Notes:

1. The drug is named ‘独钟’ just like the novel, ‘独钟’ comes from the expression ‘情有独钟’– To have special fondness (for something/somebody). I thought about a long time about the most accurate way to translate it and decided upon “Special Fondness” because I thought the author wanted to describe TQY and FS relation.

‘独’ means ‘special/unique’ and ‘钟’ can means ‘be concentrated on’ – ‘独钟’ just means “special/unique/one of a kind” but as I cannot possibly translate it by just ‘special’ as it would make no sense, I also kept the same translation for the name of the drug.

Although this chapter is not a happy one, I like it because it is a very interesting chapter hence it only took me 2 days to translate it. (It usually takes me 3 days if I am alone on it, 2-day translating, 1-day checking/adjusting the vocabulary)

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Milktea

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TOC

Special Fondness – Chapter 1

           Fang Su forgot how he got into the house, he only remembers he calmly nodded and agreed to his father. The moment he let go of this breath, his father’s newly wounded face brightens with a happy look, even if there was a touch of guilt, it was replaced with unconcealed gratitude.

           The house is simple and crude, the only thing separating the outer hall and the inner room is only a dilapidated wooden door, unable to stop the cold wind from blowing in, let alone human voice.

           That voice was sharp and piercing, it didn’t care if he was able to hear it, that voice kept chattering in a festive tone: “In my opinion, it’s better for him to get married. Although he is a man, there is no need to feel wrong, shouldn’t he be grateful and thanks heaven and earth that there’s someone who wants him? In the future there’ll be one less mouth to feed, it is a good thing for us!”

           There was no surprise on Fang Su’s face, he has long been used to it, he just listened to it numbly. His father was probably trying to stop that voice, that voice gradually became more and more unscrupulous, and became even higher, deliberately yelling toward his room: “Did I say it wrong? He has eaten from our Fang family for free for so many years! What has he done for this family?”

           “This time he didn’t say anything and saved my life…” Father Fang’s weakened voice could be heard, then only, the voice who was cursing became more tamed.

           Fang Su who was packing his luggage came to a stop, his sight fell between his old clothes, and a wry smile appeared on his lips.

           Thinking along the lines of the words, he was born weak, he couldn’t go to the fields, but one couldn’t say he did nothing for his family. Feeding the poultry, cleaning the yard, washing the dishes, and even sewing or doing embroidery, the things that only women would do, he did them all, simply because he wanted to make up for his family and let himself be less blamed.

As the elder son of the Fang family, he wasn’t appreciated by outsiders, and he only come to realize today that perhaps, he should have broken off their kinship and left home long ago.

           “He gave birth to him, raised him, it is only natural for him to exchange his life for yours.” After a while, the woman’s voice mumbled again, seeming to have found a new excuse, continued to her false reasoning, “If it’s such a big deal after this matter is over we will just cut off our relationship, he won’t owe you for bringing he up, and you won’t have to worry about someone burning incense for you, without him, don’t we still have another son?”

           Fang Su didn’t want to listen to it anymore.

He doesn’t have many personal things, only two old outfits, one wooden hairpin, it wasn’t cumbersome for him to pack, he can leave this place without any worries. He straightened him from his narrow wooden bed and walked back to the outer hall with his simple and crude luggage.

           The woman who was talking to herself finally stopped talking and rolled her eyes at him disdainfully.

           Fang Su’s did not give even half a glance at his father, he walked outside without any expression on his face, he stepped a foot outside of the threshold and paused for a while, he looked back and said to the woman peacefully: “Second mother is right, it is only fair that I use my life to repay the kindness for bringing me up. I hope that it will be as you said, from now on, the Fang family and I, will have no more relationship.”

           The woman did not expect that he who has always been weak and obedient would say such words before leaving, as if he deliberately slapped her in the face, as if he was afraid to have anything related to her, she couldn’t stop her anger, she stopped and pointed at his back while cursing at him.

           Fang Su did not hear anything, he thinks from the bottom of his heart that he really wants to cut things off and he wasn’t trying to vent his anger by saying what he said.

           Since his mother left this world, his father seemed to have changed into someone else – although his temperament is the same, he wasn’t the father who would protect him anymore. Fang Su and his second mom can not be considered as a family, there isn’t any feeling between them, what he said before leaving was directed at Fang father, he also wishes he could remember it himself, from now on even if the future ahead of him is unknown, he can be alone and carefree.

           Outside the farmyard, a few burly men were already waiting impatiently for him, they did not wait for him to walk closer, they reached out and grabbed his arm, and forced him into the carriage. Fang Su didn’t know where he would be taken to, he could only resign himself to fate, he hugged the luggage between his arms and closed his eyes wearily.

           Only then, did he finally have the time to remember this whole farce.

           Just a quarter of an hour ago, the person who is driving the carriage to some unknown place threw his father on the Fang family farmyard.

           Father Fang yelled in pain, on his face were many new injuries. Fang Su hurriedly ran out of the house and bent over to help him, only to see Fang father grab him like a rescue board, holding his hand and begged him: “Please save your dad, save dad… Our Fang family cannot afford to pay for it, if you refuse to save me, then dad is afraid he won’t be able to live through today…”

           Fang Su did not understand but he was still shocked by the life and death situation his father was talking about, he was at a loss and ask nervously: “What on earth happened?”

           Fang father moved his lips with pain, and wasn’t in a hurry to answer, then saw one of the burly men approaching him. He shielded his head with his arm, and curled up on the ground, trying to hide beside Fang Su without success, he received a kick mercilessly. Fang Su hurriedly tried to protect him, but only heard the man sneered and say: “This old thing, with only four bare walls at home he still dared to enter our gambling house, now he owes us a handle of debts, even if he sells his doghouse, it won’t be enough to pay up for it!”

           Fang Su was stunned, there was a sudden cry that came from the house, the second mom who was hiding behind the door and peeping at them heard the truth, was hopeless and sat on the ground making a fuss, she keeps repeating “You darn thing”, screaming that they can’t live anymore.

           Fang Su remained calm, his father’s pleading reverberated in his mind, unexpectedly these people didn’t beat him to death on the spot, instead, they took the pain to escort him back to this worthless farmyard, then they surely had a reason, so he looked up calmly and asked the brawny man: “What are your plans?”

           The burly man smiled coldly after he heard him: “How? There is someone willing to pay for your father, it depends on whether you want to accept it.”

           Fang father immediately pinched him, his eyes filled with pleading. Fang Su looked at these cowering eyes, and understood in his heart, knowing that this matter obviously has something to do with him, and he was afraid that it wasn’t far from ‘selling one’s body to be a slave”.

           He pondered for a while, not wanting to anger the man who just spoke.

           The brawny man saw him lingering, and he was neither flustered nor grateful when he heard the words, the man felt that he lost face and bent down to catch his arm and pull him up from the ground to stare at him fiercely. Fang Su couldn’t break away, and could only calmly meet those eyes until he heard some strange words filled with innuendo that his expression finally cracked a little.

           “It’s no wonder, you are a man but was born with such a face, you surely will be worth some tael. Since that man said he is willing to keep you, how about you use yourself in exchange for your dad’s life, how about this deal?”

           A voice came from the house: “Either you pack up your things and marry yourself, or you should prepare your father’s funeral!”

           “Please save dad, consider it as dad is begging you…” Fang father was trembling all over when he heard it, immediately tugged at the hem of his clothes, begging. Few steps away, the woman behind the door inserts herself into the conversation, saying that it’s a good lifesaving solution, urging him to respond quickly.

            Fang Su’s mind was chaotic, he wasn’t thinking about being willing or not, he couldn’t believe it and said: “But I am a man, how…”

           “Tss”, the brawny man laughed, looked at his fragile figure, did not treat him as a man at all, mocked him: “Who doesn’t know about the trend now, those high-ranking officials like this south trend. You must have never been to Goulan Yard, the little male prostitutes there… tsk tsk, look at your delicate skin and tender meat, it is not worst than them.”

           He just finished saying that the burly men behind him busted out laughing.

           Fang Su’s face became red, then became white then green, the palms under his sleeves were gradually squeezed into fists. He didn’t know how he should think about it, he only knows that he couldn’t stay in this place anymore, he shook off his father’s hand on his clothes and walked back to the house.

           Fang father heart was in a panic, afraid that he would refuse, hurriedly got up to chase behind him, but he was kicked severely by the person behind him. The strong man laughed and threw him a sentence: “Laozi doesn’t have much patience, if that person doesn’t come out before the sun goes down, I will set your house on fire!”

What’s more about asking him to marry someone as a man, isn’t his biological father not worried about what kind of situation he will go through?

           “Dad is begging you… Dad doesn’t want this but if you don’t agree, dad’s life will be gone, Fang family will also be gone…” Fang father saw him distracted for a long time and thought that he still did not agree to it, started to reason him, “Besides, our family is poor, if you go to a big family, even if you will be considered as a woman, at least you won’t have to worry about food and clothing, don’t you agree?”

           Fang Su laughed at himself when he heard this, nodded, and said “right”. After that, he paused for a while, and under Fang father surprise gaze, he said: “Don’t worry dad, I agree to it.” Fang Su turned around and went back to his room without hesitation.

           Fang father’s words woke him up, because he always missed the affection in his childhood, he deceived himself for so many years. This place isn’t his home anymore, instead of staying here for a long time, he should live somewhere else. Even if the person he will be facing is violent and cruel, the worst result will be nothing more than death.

Fang Gu completely gave up this place where he lived for more than a dozen years and left resolutely.